31 May I’m Ashamed to Admit I was a Mom-Shamer
I had no idea what mom shaming was until I became a mom. Then I realized I had been mom shaming long before I even fell pregnant.
I was the perfect mom before I had children.
I was going to be the mom that never went to McDonalds, my kids were going to have no screen time and my body would bounce right back to pre-baby and fitting into my favourite skinny jeans. I remember laughing at my mom when she told me my body would change after baby–what did she know?
I think it all started with the pad at the hospital after birth. The realization that things have changed and my true mom shaming voice begun. I was a hot mess with compression stockings, a catheter and a pad that should really be called a diaper. My competitive nature came out and I was determined to get out of the hospital. I remember thinking, look at me walking faster than that mom. Wow, my baby seems way more alert than hers. Is she connecting with her baby as well as I am? Is that mom really using THAT car seat?
It’s like as soon as I became a mom, that little voice in my head would NOT shut up. It’s funny because as much as I was mom shamming, I was also being judged at every action along the way. I formula fed my son since day 1. I have always been a single mom. I couldn’t afford a maternity leave so my son was in daycare since 6 months old. Wow, the mom shaming.
Combat judgements with compliments.
It is easy to say stop the mom shaming, but seriously, just because we don’t say it out loud does not mean it has stopped. But what if we took an active role in stopping these mom judgement? This is an experiment that i have been working on personally for months. As soon as the little voice in my head comes up with a judgement, I quickly think of a nice thing to say to her.
Mamas listen up, this works! The other day I caught myself thinking, why can’t that mom get her baby to stop crying. Immediately, I thought of something I wanted to compliment her on and did. Guess what? I felt great, she was instantly less anxious and I made a mom connection! Try it mamas, I dare you.
Yes, my little inner voice occasionally rears its ugly head. But now I just suffocate it with mama love.